So you know what it’s like? To have that empty, endless hope and holding on to it. Just forever dying waiting for that parent to clean up their life so you can be in it. So you can feel the love that should be there, but never has. You know what it’s like for everyone, even yourself, telling you to give up. You don’t. Ever. You feel like life will never be complete because you just weren’t good enough, important enough, great enough to impact him in a strong enough way that he would choose you over the poison. That sting of anger because you have to be the adult, and he wants you to call, but he doesn’t have to. Then when you don’t he makes you feel like shit, but you love him anyway. You don’t wanna. You do though, even after you see that he doesn’t love you back. I’ll always love him, but I need to do good for myself now. I can’t fix something that doesn’t want to be fixed. Goodbye dad.